First 5 Do’s and First 5 Don’ts to Tennis Parent Success

Ever wonder why many tennis parents did not get the result they expected from their tennis children success wise? What a good question to ask. We know there are plenty of answers to this question, but let me tell you mine basing on my research on a wide variety of articles written about this topic.

In tennis community, coaches’ recognize that top junior players had parents highly involved in their tennis experience. It is felt that most players cannot make it to the top without significant support from their parents. To some, parents are seen as both essential for tennis talent development and, a major detriment for some young players.

In a basketball match, the coach chooses his first 5 players as starters hoping to take the lead advantage. Here, I’m outlining the result of my first 5 Do’s and Don’ts, so as to share enlightenment.



First 5 Do’s

1. Give Positive Support.



This is the most important. Positive parents were perceived to provide many different types of support to help their child be successful in tennis. Types of support rated highly included financial, logistical, social, and emotional. Moreover, positive parents provide their child with tennis opportunities and make sacrifices so their child can succeed, and most importantly, provide unconditional love to their child. Generally, positive parents were felt to give much encouragement to their child. Be a healthy role model for your children by being positive and relaxed at matches and by having balance in your life.



2. Remember That Tennis is Just a Game.



While you may want your child's skills to improve, you also want your child to enjoy the game. It's a game for a lifetime. Look relaxed, calm, positive, and energized when watching your child's matches. Your attitude influences how your child feels and plays. Socializing can make the event more fun for you. Always remember that tennis is a great game and a lot of fun. Keep a sense of humor. If you are having fun and laughing, so you will your children.



3. Trust The Coach.



Leave the coaching to the coach. Trust the coach to make decisions about the child’s tennis development. Parent and child’s coach should know each other. Communicate tennis concerns directly and privately to the coach. When your child has a private lesson with the coach, consider watching it from a distance in order to give your child and the coach some space.



4. Provide Guidance.



Be reasonably involved with your child’s tennis by setting realistic goals for participation. Intervene if your child's behavior is unacceptable during practice or matches. Understand that your child may need a break from tennis occasionally. Set limits as to how often you will talk about tennis. Also, have discussions about other things in your child’s life besides tennis. In addition, give your child some time after matches to recover and reflect before talking about the match.



5. Winning Is Not Everything



Too many parents and coaches use the "Winning isn't the most important thing. It's the only thing" philosophy. In reality, most kids won't come close to being professionals, so why get crazy? Emphasize the methodology of becoming a player and reinforce the fun of playing the game. If the pain of losing overcomes the joy of playing, the child will give up the game sooner or later.



First 5 Don’ts



1. Putting pressure on your child to win.

Billie Jean King is credited for saying "don’t exert pressure to win, but exert pressure to practice”. It is not easy to respond positively after your child played poorly and lost. As a parent you need to be able to take a deep breath, recover your perspective that tennis is just a game, and approach your child with unconditional love and support following a match. It is best to move on quickly and to not change your routine following a match just because your child lost.



2. Making Tennis Too Serious.



Always encourage your child and cheer. Avoid displaying negative emotions such as anger and frustration or sighing when your child misses a shot or makes a bad tactical decision. No one is perfect. Emphasize that very few players make it to the top and this is okay. What is important is that they have a healthy tennis experience. Keep the pressure off by focusing on what your child is doing well, be encouraging, and allow your coach to handle how to help your child improve.Provide love and support regardless of the match outcome.



3. Criticizing the Coach.



To avoid this scenario, communication is the key to foster good relationship between parent and coach. Developing trust, having common goals that are realistic, and being respectful and honest will help a coach get along with parents.



4. Showing Negative Emotions.



Tennis pro and psychologist Vic Braden once said, "In the last few weeks, I have been consulted on how to handle screaming and abusive parents more than anytime in the past." Criticizing your child or being negative and/or yelling will not help create a good learning experience for your child. In fact, the more you focus on what your child is not doing well, the more difficult your relationship may become with your child. Your unhappiness can cause your child to feel guilty.



5. Expecting a Payback.



Realize that your child may feel guilty about all of the time and money you are spending on his or her tennis if you are not careful. It is important that he or she knows you don't look at tennis as an investment for which you expect a return.